


roses are red, erik is tired

by rexflame



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone Is Gay, MMORPGs, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth, i may have forgotten charas or ships in my notes so i apologize in advance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27227818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexflame/pseuds/rexflame
Summary: mythic +0 freehold, 470+ required.[or, in which the gang plays world of warcraft, and may or may not try to get their friends to hook up in the midst of some mythic keystones.]
Relationships: Camus | Erik/Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI), Graig | Hendrik/Homer | Jasper (Dragon Quest XI), Marutina | Jade/Sena | Serena
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. uninvited guests

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i have not posted anything multichapter in a while so i apologize if this gets abandoned  
> brackets with italicized text are from chats. usernames are different in dms vs group chats, so i hope it was clear! everyone's online names are taken from their jp names in some form, with the exception of hendrik, because he doesn't have an online name because he's a fool.  
> if it gets confusing let me know and i can make a guide! otherwise, hmu @twinkletackle on twitter!

_ Click, click. _

"You are late again, Erik."

Erik sighs from his seat - legs propped up on his computer desk, headphones settled on his shoulders to tune out Hendrik's rambling as he boots up World of Warcraft. His headphones shriek in complaint, every word from Hendrik's mic causing a painful amount of feedback, and he considers momentarily throwing the entire headset across the room.

He settles for angrily opening a bag of Cheetos.

"Work ran late," he says when the lecture has finally stopped (and really, Hendrik doesn't talk  _ that  _ much, but the man's as serious as a heart attack.)

"Let us know next time, please," the voice crackles, and Erik imagines Hendrik must have the worst worry lines.

"Honey, give him a break!" cuts in another voice - and now Erik is genuinely considering slamming his head on the keyboard, because Sylv  _ and  _ Hendrik require at least 24oz more caffeine than he’s consumed today.

He should've checked the lineup for tonight, he thinks, as the vanilla loading screen reminds him to be nice to his fellow party members if he wants to be invited back.

"Is Lev here yet?" is what he finally settles on engaging with, finally pulling his headphones onto his ears and setting his feet onto the ground. As if on cue, the noise of a user joining their call pings twice.

_ "Homework took longer than expected, sorry!"  _ the robotic text-to-speech that functions as Lev's voice says.

There's a crinkle in Hendrik's mic - Erik thinks he probably tried to nod, the dense idiot - and then his voice, still nearly too static-filled to be comprehensible. 

"Alright. Neither of the twins will be around, and so.." 

Hendrik coughs. Erik has a feeling he won't like what comes next.

"..I invited Jasper."

"You did  _ what _ . What about Jade?" 

"Busy - with Rab. It appears they are on a trip, of sorts."

"Faris?" Erik asks, painfully hopeful.

"Oh, darling," Sylv responds, a hint of slimly characteristic smugness in their tone - like a cat that caught the mouse, and was moving onto catching Erik next. "We love Faris, but he's not going to be able to do this. Besides.." their tone drops to a conspiratory level. "I heard Jasper is bringing the key."

"Junkyard +27," Hendrik confirms.

"No. No  _ fucking  _ way. We are  _ not  _ going to make timer if I have to work with him.'

Erik is about five seconds away from logging out, washing his hands of this, and going to beat Mia in a few rounds of Smash when his notifications light up.

_ [🐰: please erik?  _

_ 🐰: it's push week and you know we've been looking for a good junkyard.. _

_ 🐰: i promise i'll make it up to you.] _

Erik's face goes red. He can think of things  _ make it up to you _ could mean, and he knows it  _ doesn't,  _ but a man with a crush can dream, right?

_ [Hendrik: @chadrik Are you alright? I understand this idea does not appeal to you. _

_ sylvia💕: oh, give the darling a moment~~ _

_ chadrik: ok ok ill do it _

_ chadrik: but hes paying my repairs for a month _

_ Hendrik: I will suggest this to him. _

_ eleven: i'll pay them erik!] _

Erik drums his fingers on the spacebar, the call unsettlingly quiet. Downstairs, he hears a door open and slam shut - Mia must be home from her friends'. Maybe he should use  _ her  _ as his get-out-of-Mythics-free card.

Except for the fact that she's somehow friends with Jasper.

"He'll do two weeks," Hendrik says after an uncomfortably long silence - and really, Erik thought he was too proud to agree at  _ all,  _ and the Junkyard is tempting, so…

"Invite him."

_ [ > Good to see you, silverspheres! _

_ chadrik has changed silverspheres' nickname to jassper. _

_ chadrik: not rly good 2 see you _

_ jassper: The feeling is mutual. _

_ jassper: Why do you have nickname privileges locked? _

_ chadrik: why do u type like u have a stick in ur ass _

_ sylvia💕: now now, boys! do we want to time this or not, hm? _

_ chadrik: i hate it when ur right _

_ sylvia💕: 😘 ] _

Erik tabs back into the game when he hears Jasper join the call, focusing on jumping in circles as he debates whether he's actually going to bring his demon hunter.

"I will be tanking," Hendrik says - as if that was ever in question.

"I'll be your healer for tonight, darlings!" 

_ "Do you want my hunter?" _

"That'd be good, Lev," Erik says, fondly, sighing as he logs out of his demon hunter and stares at his rogue, a character he'd meant to throw away and had ended up maining.

Mia had damned the damn thing Gyldygga, and he  _ knew _ she'd know if he ever changed it. The moment he logs into the cursed thing, Hendrik shoots him an invite - before he even gets a chance to change specs. Jasper is saying something annoying - not that Erik's paying attention, because everything Jasper says is annoying - and so he focuses on his Cheetos and running to Mechagon. 

He wonders if he could at least get away with race changing from gnome before Mia killed him in his sleep.

_ [Hendrik: Erik, I am aware you aren't listening. Jasper will take the first Shockbot and the first Greasebot. _

_ camus (mythic): ughhhhhhh _

_ Hendrik: He's playing Arms tonight. _

_ camus (mythic): UGGGGHHHHHHHHH  _

_ camus (mythic) fine dad ill stealth to the cave one] _

Hendrik's mic shrieks horrifically, which means that calling him dad was worth it. 

A few moments later, Hendrik drops a route in chat, and Erik sets himself to  _ Do Not Disturb  _ and messages Mia to inform her in no uncertain terms that she will never get to graduate highschool if she interrupts him now. He makes a point ignoring her asking if he's on a date with his Internet boyfriend, instead rifling through his bags to find his flasks. 

The countdown timer isn't long enough for Erik's palms to stop sweating.

The dungeon is blessedly silent - really, it's exactly what Erik needs. Nothing but Hendrik's callouts, because the man  _ refuses  _ to use any sort of addon for things like that, and he finds that Jasper doesn't make a bad addition to their team. He's quicker on interrupts than Erik is, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Jasper's the one who made the route. 

_ Keystone Upgraded! +1 _

"Woo-hoo!" Erik can't help but cheer as they finish the final boss - it's the highest key he's ever done, and it's gonna look  _ great _ if he decides to actually apply for a bigger guild.

"Is this worth celebration to you?" comes Jasper's voice, irritating as always. "It  _ is _ a push week."

"Jasper," Hendrik's voice comes this time, a surprising tone from him, almost a warning - and to Erik's surprise, it actually succeeds to shut Jasper up.

"We did it, darlings!" Sylv's own voice cheers - and Erik settles back into patting himself on the back, because they  _ did _ do it.

_ "What key did you get, Jasper?"  _ comes Lev's robot voice proxy.

"Underrot."

_ "Do you want to try to do it?" _

"Wasn't Veronica looking for it? If Jasper has the time to spend with the  _ little leagues _ again before reset, she can have my spot."

Erik's chair creaks as he leans back in it again, letting his eyes flutter shut. He'd take anything to avoid Jasper again, no matter how useful he might be - and annoyingly good.

Unfortunately, his life was staunchly against letting him have any peace, and he lacked swift enough reflexes to realize Mia had a) entered his room and b) mute his mic before she spoke.

"Erik! We're gonna get a noise complaint if you don't shut the fuck up, and I don't care how hot your Internet boyfriend is!"


	2. deliberation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully the texting -only isn't too confusing!

_ [grand sylvia: erik, darling, i didn't know you had a boyfriend! how thrilling! _

_ camus (mythic): i dont _

_ grand sylvia: hmm? don't tell me it isn't lev?! _

_ camus (mythic): YOU _

_ camus (mythic): MOTHERFUCKER _

_ grand sylvia: ;) _

_ grand sylvia: if he doesn't know, my lips are sealed~] _

_ [Hendrik: I was not aware you were using our dungeon run to go on a date. _

_ camus (mythic): omfg not u too _

_ Hendrik: I apologize if I have interfered. _

_ camus (mythic): i dont have a bf mia is just a pest _

_ Hendrik: Ah. _

_ Hendrik: It is alright if you do.] _

_ [explosivemage: i heard u have a bf and u didnt even tell me? smdh _

_ camus (mythic): ronnie not u too _

_ explosivemage: dont be a pussy erik _

_ camus (mythic): i hate u _

_ explosivemage: u love me _

_ camus (mythic): :pepehands: _ _ ] _

_ [silverspheres: Mia told me you're pining over our dear Eleven. _

_ silverspheres: Change my name in the group chat and I will consider not telling him. _

_ camus (mythic): u snake _

_ silverspheres: I would describe this as merely mutually beneficial.] _

_ [ chadrik has changed jassper's nickname to Hendrik's Waifu _

_ Hendrik: What does Waifu mean? _

_ sylvia💕 has changed chadrik's name to Lev's Waifu _

_ eleven: huh?! _

_ sylvia💕: don't worry about it, darling! _

_ Hendrik's Waifu: I will not be paying for any repairs, @Lev's Waifu. _

_ Hendrik's Waifu: @Hendrik May I have nickname permissions? _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: omfg _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: pleaaaase dont give him permissions this is great _

_ Hendrik's Waifu has changed their nickname to Jasper _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: booooo u whore! _

_ Serena: Um..I’m sorry to interrupt, but how did the key last night go? _

_ Serena: We were rooting for you! _

_ Lev's Waifu has changed their nickname to chad erik 2 _

_ chad erik 2: we timed, 1 chest _

_ Jasper: If you were quicker on interrupts, it could've been a two chest. _

_ sylv💕: ronnie~ it's an underrot, if you'd like to do it, darling! erik has so graciously offered you his spot! _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: sorry im allergic to jasper _

_ Jasper: Has anyone ever taught you manners? _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: yea joe _

_ Jasper: Joe? _

_ 99th percentile ronnie: joe mamma _

_ Serena:..is it wrong of me to laugh? _

_ chad erik 2: i cant believe he actually fell for it _

_ chad erik 2: omfg did he LEAVE _

_ chad erik 2: over JOE MAMMA] _

_ [Hendrik: Are you alright? _

_ silverspheres: I have no time for their churlish behavior. _

_ silverspheres: I am a working adult. _

_ Hendrik: They are my friends.  _

_ Hendrik: Do try to respect them. _

_ silverspheres is typing…] _

**Author's Note:**

> this first ch has a lot of mmo babble, sorry! it will become..less that...and get a clear plot...i promise. Q.Q


End file.
